50 things I’ve learnt in 50 years
So, I've hit the 50 mark. Where did all those years go? I saw someone do this a while ago, so I'm shamelessly stealing the idea...
Here are the 50 top things (that I can think of), that I've learnt in my 50 years so far.
Fenway Park in Boston, home to the Red Sox. One of my favourite places anywhere in the world.
Promptness shows respect.
You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologise. When you do mean it, accept what comes from it, and move on.
One of the most valuable things to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to have one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Be kind. Respect others. It’s amazing how many people find it hard to do those things.
You’re never going to win an argument with a basketball referee. Leave it alone. Even if they’re a dick. And most of them are dicks.
You never know what someone is going through in their life, so always try and give them the benefit of the doubt. Unless they’re a basketball referee.
Always be kind. I regret the times I wasn’t, and I’m sorry to anyone who was on the other end of it.
When you mess up, own up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness.
I once heard someone say that keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.
For everyone at school… it really is true. Time goes much, much, much quicker the older you get. I know right now, to you, that seems impossible – but believe me, enjoy being young without responsibility while you have it.
Cherish and love those people closest to you. When they’re not there and you’re no longer able to, you’ll wish you had done an awful lot more with them.
You very probably don’t need that other biscuit. No matter how nice it is. Leave it alone, you’ve had enough (this also applies to crisps, sandwiches and slices of toast dripping with lots of butter).
Contrary to number 10, a little bit (or a lot) of something that you really like, will do you the world of good in most situations. Know what your comfort food is and go to it when you really need it.
Unfortunately, you need to resign yourself to the fact that you’re going to meet a lot of dickheads in your life.
Do all that you can to surround yourself with good people. If someone betrays your trust or destroys your confidence, do all you can to put a lot of distance between you and them. They’re not worth your time.
If you’re stuck in a job you hate, working with or for people you can’t stand, in a toxic environment that destroys the person you are, change your job. You will never look back and regret leaving. You’re worth more than that.
If you’re stuck in that toxic job, please, do your absolute best to leave everything at work and not take it home with you. Those at home deserve the ‘best you’, not the version of you when you’re deeply unhappy because of work, because of something that the dickheads said, or did, or made you feel while you were there. Those at home are worth far more than that. And again, repeating point 15, if work makes you physically and mentally unwell, leave as soon as you possibly can. Life is too short to spend it doing something you loathe and living as someone you’d never recognise.
If you haven’t used it, watched it, worn it or eaten it in the last year, you’re not going to. Get rid of it.
Whatever you love most, go after it as though your days were numbered. Because they are. And one day, you won’t be able to.
The places you go, and the experiences that you have, particularly with people you enjoy spending time with, will be the things you remember when you get older. Not the clothes that you buy, not the money or the possessions you have. Go do something awesome with good people. You’ll never regret it.
Having the balls to put yourself out there makes life way more interesting. I wish I had done it more over the previous 50 years. I’m looking forward to doing more of this now.
The lyrics in Baz Luhrman’s Sun Screen contains more truisms than virtually anyone or anything I have ever heard.
If you want to do something, if you think it’s something you’re going to enjoy and get something out of, go ahead and do it. You’ll likely regret not doing it when you had the chance.
Don’t wait for something to be perfect. If you do, chances are that it never will be.
I’m scared and hate the thought of getting older. I know it’s a privilege. I know a lot of people would love to have lived to 50 and I need to be grateful instead of fearful. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on appreciating it more.
Whatever your instincts and intuition are telling you, there’s a good chance that they’re absolutely right.
Say please and thank you, all the time. Good manners cost you absolutely nothing. My Mum told me that when I was a kid, and it’s one of the best lessons to learn.
Life won’t always go the way you want it to. How you respond will have a profound effect on you. Just because it might not be the path you wanted to take, doesn’t mean that it won’t be awesome.
Going back to Baz and his sunscreen lyrics… Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Travel. As much as you can, and as far from home as you can afford. Particularly Asia. Definitely Asia. And Boston. (Fenway Park's a little piece of heaven). Oh, and Maine too.
In the words of Jim Valvano, Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. Go search youtube for Jim Valvano ESPY’s speech. A man with enormous courage, and a pretty awesome coach too.
It’s taken me 35+ years to even start to believe this. It really doesn’t matter what other people think about you. I love the saying that life is too short to live it, hoping for other people’s approval. I still care too much about what others think, but I’m (very slowly) getting better at it.
If you want to remember something, write it down. Send it to yourself as an email or a text message. Do anything, but don’t promise yourself you’ll simply remember it. When you need to most, you won’t be able to. I hate to think of how many great ideas I’ve forgotten by not writing them down.
A meal deal costs £3. Most people reading this wouldn’t think twice about spending that on a coffee. But today, how about you spend it on a meal deal and make sure that homeless person you just walked past has something to put in their stomach instead. It will make you feel incredibly good, and you’ll really help someone who needs it.
Your children learn from the way you treat others. They’re always watching and they’re always aware and they’re always learning.
It doesn’t matter what car you drive , they all get you from A to B. However, if you’re happy to give me a Bentley or a Porsche, I’ll gladly accept either. Thank you.
Do something totally out of your comfort zone. It can go one of two ways – you’ll either love it and want to do more, or you’ll hate it and know never to do it again.
Wear the clothes you want to wear, cut your hair the way you want to cut it. Do whatever you want that makes you feel good about yourself, and to hell with what others think about you because of it.
President Bartlett is the best president that America never had. My god, the world could do with some President Bartlett right now. Our ‘esteemed’ government could learn a thing or two, just by watching a few episodes of the West Wing.
If you need to make a decision between two things, flip a coin. As soon as the coin’s in the air, you’ll instantly know which side you want it to land on.
If you need help with something, get in touch. I’ll do all I can to help you.
Brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough - Randy Pausch. I really like that. Go read Randy’s book, The Last Lecture. Incredibly inspirational, but my god, heartbreakingly sad. He certainly lived his life.
What goes around, comes around. Or at least, I hope it does. If you’re going to be a dick to someone, then you’re going to get it coming back to you in spades.
Don’t go food shopping when you’re hungry. I really wish I listened to this advice more often. Contrary to what your stomach’s telling you, you really don’t need that extra value pack of 10 doughnuts. Some of the worst decisions around food that I’ve ever made, were made when I was shopping and starving.
Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. Or, in my situation, as I’d want my daughter to be treated. Think about how you treat others. Even those insufferable knob heads in the office. Or the person who just cut you up. Or that basketball referee you just told where to go. Instead, say good morning to people. Hold the door open for someone. Smile more and say hello. Help someone when they need it.
Read, read and read some more. No one ever told someone off for reading too much. It’s also good for the soul and allows you to escape the every day crap of life. And we all could do with a bit of escape right now.
Learn to say no. I’ll freely admit it, I’m crap at this. But it’s important.
Donate blood. Or even better, if you can, donate platelets. People in hospital really need them. You’ll be amazed how many people you can help and save by spending 5 minutes donating blood, or an hour donating platelets. Did you know, that everytime you donate platelets, you could help up to 12 children, or 3 adults. Read that again 12 children. All that for simply spending an hour sitting on a comfy seat, with a cup of tea and snacks given to you by lovely nurses who do a great job of looking after you. None of it really hurts, it’s a scratch on the arm, and that’s all you feel. Honestly, it’s simple, and you get to properly help someone when they REALLY need it. Plus, you never know when you will need it and wish more people had donated theirs. Go call 0300 123 2323 and sign up. Please.
Watch the film Just Mercy. It’s a true story about a lawyer called Brian Stevenson, and it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever seen. If you have an ounce of humanity in you, it will literally break your heart. But thank God for there are people like Brian Stevenson in this world. It’s hard to understand how someone can hate another person so much, and at the same time, inflict so much pain and hurt, just because of the colour of their skin.
If you get a chance to go whale watching, do it. It’s the most mind blowing thing in the world - to see a humpback whale’s tail lift into the air before sinking down below the surface. Something so simple is crazily emotional. How in the world people can hunt whales is beyond me.
Someone once said to me “don’t burn your bridges”… now I know that’s good advice, but to be honest, fuck it, I don’t want to go backwards. I’ve been there, done it, I didn’t like it, and I really don’t want to do it again.
If you'd like to discuss any of these, please, get in touch - it would be great to hear from you!